By : Ike Philip Abiagom
It is with a heavy and bleeding heart I pen this, can’t believe you’re gone, I always looked up to you as inspiration, and a pillar to your family…
There are simply no words to capture what you meant to my family or convey the full weight of our grief over your passing. When I met you over twenty three years ago I knew at once, that my brother (Peter Okocha) had struck gold and I know many men have a wonderful wives like you but no one will ever had a better one above you. For Pharm.(Mrs) Bridget Okocha you were simply amazing – beautiful, witty, highly intelligent, quirky and always immense fun to be with. I am grateful for every minute we had together in Lagos.
We shared family friendship, a bond that no one else can understand and together we tore down barriers of creed, tribe and culture that threatened to keep us apart and at once turned all of it into love and laughter and oneness. You always said family mattered most and you embraced ours so intimately that you easily passed for a wife and a big sister to my beloved wife (Isioma Abiagom). You were humble, faithful, efficient, and true and in your unassuming way, made everything around you beautiful.
As cliché as it may sound, Pharm. Bridget Okocha, you were everything. My brother (Peter Okocha) happiest years were those spent with you. You gave him the experience of being clearly understood, truly supported and completely and utterly loved. You inspired him in ways I cannot explain. You were his number one fan, blowing his trumpet the loudest. When he was worried, you said it would be ok. When he wasn’t sure what to do, you figured it out. When things were difficult you were a pillar.
I remembered how I always visit you at your Pharmaceutical store(Maybeck) at Randle Street, Surulere, spend hours with you and how you entertained me as your husband’s junior brother still reflects in my memory. I shall never forget your advice, the laughter, the promises and the plans. I miss your presence, your companionship and your encouragement.
You see, your love and caring to people around you is at once this cruel and uplifting. We are dead without it, and yet made so much more vulnerable to pain for experiencing it. However if the day me and my wife walked down that aisle with you someone had told us that this would happen, we would still have walked down that aisle. For the beautiful flowers you have planted in our memories’ will be treasured for the rest of our lifetime.
Aunty B, our love could not save you. we fought long and hard though. You did not want to die. we did not want to let go either. We were confident this would end in praise. But the creator thought your work here was done and decided to call you to Himself, to swell the number of the Saints triumphant. Camera 360
I am consoled however by the fact that we will bury only your body, but your spirit, your beautiful soul, your uncommon ability to calm the storm is still with us. You live on in the stories those who knew you are sharing of how you touched their lives, in the memories of our families who you touched most closely, in the love that is so visible in the eyes of our families. Things will never be the same for us yes, but we all have been made better because you were in our lives.
The words of Alan D. Wolfelt in The Wilderness of Grief, aptly captures my feelings on this day. “My grief journey has no destination. I will not ‘get over it.’ The understanding that I don’t have to be done is liberating. I will mourn this death for the rest of my life.” But I will not stay drained by grief. I assure you that my brother, your husband (Peter Okocha) will be strong for the children, and that together, we shall make you proud.
Thinking of Aunty Bridget automatically brings a smile to the lips of those who knew her because she loving and caring. She always had a smile.
Thank you, Aunty Bridget, for the great privilege of having known you for 23 years. I know you are still here among us. Thank you for reminding us that the present moment is precious, and that we should make the most of it by loving fully and generously.
Spread your wings and fly proudly, Aunty Bridget. You have earned it!